WeWho

Our culture,

The widows and widowers, 

To every woman going through the rigorous moment of widowhood, it's not the end, we love you.

This is about our culture and widowhood.

Why does our culture celebrates widowhood and not widowerhood?

Who said widowhood is easy?

You want to know why I wouldn't talk about widowerhood?

Widowhood is a moment of great rigor, yes.

May we and our dear ones not die young, Amen.

Do you also know that widowhood has nothing to do with the man dieing young?

As I will be telling us about a man that died at 105 and the wife had to go through rigorous moment of widowhood.

I'm from the great Yoruba tribe of the southwestern, Nigeria. More of the culture and traditions that I will be relating to, will be one that I know of well, my culture. The culture puts us together but tradition is limited to families/ particular group of people; meanwhile I can't touch every part but some families' tradition in the Yoruba culture. 

Research proves that widowhood practices is observed among the Yorubas in order to protect the woman from being harmed by the spirit of the dead husband, for the woman to prove innocence of the death of her husband and for the husband's family to ascertain if the woman had been pregnant as at the time the husband died so that they can claim responsibility and caring for the woman among reasons. It is interesting to find that though, widowhood practices is still in existence among the Yorubas, there are some factors affecting the intensity and feasibility of practicing it. 

 

My Grandmother is presently having her widowhood which according to her husband's family she has to stay indoor for 21 days starting from the following day the husband is buried and after the 21 days, she spends one year wearing 2 clothes and she doesn't make fancy hairstyles so, it would be known that she's going through the rigorous process of widowhood. Though, in some families, they are allowed to wear more than two clothes as long as it's the same colour. 

Widowhood as interpreted by Yoruba culture is way too extreme in my opinion. Though, the modern widows are already sieving the process.

I heard of the Igbo families who cut the hair of the widow.

Some families that also make the widow sleep in the same room as the corpse (dead husband) just to know she didn't kill him or some that make the widow drink the water used in washing the corpse.

About the woman I mentioned earlier whose husband died at 105 and she went through the same widowhood process, do you also think the woman is a witch for killing the man at 105?.

She would eat on a bare floor (she's not allowed to sit on a chair) and pack her plates herself (no one is allowed to help her), she's also not allowed to wash her hands, she will use the hand in eating to rub her hair until it's clean. However, during this whole thing, her hair is out of style(s). She's also meant to keep wearing black for a while.

A man asked the aspect of the woman celebrating widowhood in one year, is it religious or cultural?

My Grandma's answer was "it's cultural"

It's not religious that one should practice this.

Do you think this is fair?

Funny enough, widowers don't go through any of these processes, why should it be so hard on women?

Look at the case of the woman whose husband died at 105, she is a witch abi🤔🤔🙄 

In my opinion, as much as widows are made to go through this process so should men.

My source: I did mouth to mouth findings from our Yoruba elders and some Igbo elders.

I would love your opinions on widowhood and how it's done in your tribe, drop it in the comment section.